How Not To Fill Your Chair


I had an insightful conversation today with one of our La Luma Academy students who is struggling to build her clientele. The conversation began with her saying, “I am doing everything that you told me to do and it's not working!” This will sound familiar to many of us as we have probably all been in this situation.  This space of feeling like you’ve stretched and pushed and tried all you know how to do and still your chair sits empty more often than you’d like. 

As we unpacked the specific actions she had been taking to engage friends, family and strangers it became clear that the communication was coming from a place of frustration and desperation. You can make all the right moves, but if you don't make those moves from a place of positive intention, informed and influenced by the proper context, then in my estimation, you’re likely only to progress to about 20% of your goal - at best. 

My request after this student shared their experience with me was for them to shift the frustration and desperation they were feeling into a context of excitement, joy, kindness, inclusiveness or any context or way of being that would create a valuable outcome for both parties as a result of the transaction or exchange. After all, this is what business really is. A profitable exchange for both parties. 

So what does this look like in action?  What does it really mean to shift your approach to sales and engagement in this way?  Let’s take a look:

 oprah quote

Fear, Frustration and Desperation sound like: 

“My schedule has a lot of openings next week. I know you’re probably busy and I’m not trying to be pushy but can I please get you booked in?”  

 And it feels like “I’m bothering them, they’re not going to want to book with me, who do I think I am?  I can’t do this.  This is hard.” 


 Excitement, Joy, and Recognition of a valuable outcome for all sounds like:

“I’ve been learning a lot of really great things and I know some of them would be so great to try with you - I’ve been really wanting to work on your hair and I have an opening next week!  Can I book you in?

And it feels like  “I can do this.  Why wouldn’t they want to book with me?  I can do so much for them with what I’ve been learning.  It’s so much fun to share my skills with my friends and family.”

Can you see how much more effective one is than the other? 

Bottom line, actions may speak louder than words, context is the loudest of all.